We’ve all been sitting in a car at one point or another in our lives when we’ve glanced to our left or right and seen something that just makes you smile unexpectedly: a hilarious bumper sticker. Either funny, creative or just plain strange, below is an exhaustive list of the most entertaining bumper stickers on the road today. You’re going to love these!
Finance Over Family
Just two partners, choosing to save and spend all their hard-earned money instead of having a couple of kids. And that’s their right! But we do have to commend the creators of this bumper sticker for substituting the classic stick-figure-family bumper stickers into a couple and all their gold.
People’s Elbow from the ropes, comin’ at ya! Oh my goodness, how great would it be to see this amazing bumper sticker/windshield wiper sticker combo in real life. This is some genius comedy right here. Let’s play a game: what would your name these two wrestlers?
There you are, just minding your own business, enjoying grade school, making straight A’s. Everyone is happy, you’re doing well. And then boom! It’s 2020, you’re 30 years old with nothing but this funny bumper sticker to show for it. What happened? Some times, things change.
Adults Want To Live Too
Now this is the kind of bumper sticker we need! Adults everywhere should cheer for this one. Why should it be just the babies on board that gets kept safe? Safety for all. On a real note, has anyone ever seen a ‘baby on board’ sticker or sign and then actually changed a thing about how they were driving at the time? Doubtful.
But will gravity pull you over and frisk you? There are some people on this earth who believe that gravity isn’t actually real. Rather, every piece of matter has weight. And it isn’t gravity that makes the apple fall to the ground, rather it’s the fact that the apple is heavier than the air, that makes it fall to the ground.
Another stick figure family hater! What’s the beef? But this one comes with a twist, as it is the Addams Family of stick figure families. When your stick figure family is a cannibalistic, vampire group of brothers and sisters…yeah, look out other stick figure families!
Never Skip Leg Day
Oh the irony! How perfect is this pairing? A funny bumper sticker reminding drivers they should never skip leg day. This plays on a popular gym meme, that tends to accompany physically fit people from only the waste up, who seem to skip leg days.
I Hate Bumper Stickers
Take a look at this one. This is what we call a conundrum, in common speak at least. You might confuse it with an oxymoron; it’s easy to see why. However an oxymoron is a comparison between two completely opposite things such as Little giant or jumbo shrimp.
Running On Empty
You ever feel this way? When you’re driving (and you’re late somewhere, of course) – you peel out of the driveway knowing that you have exactly 15 minutes to get to the place that takes exactly 15 minutes to get to you but then you realize — EMPTY TANK! If only you could just pull the meter back.
Used To Be Cool
Of course you did. This is a funny bumper sticker that could only be employed by someone with a high-quality sense of humor. One of the funnier bumper stickers on this list. The poor should probably used to do donuts in the high school parking lot with his ’69 Corvette.
Drink & Derive
Ahh yes, the portion of the bumper sticker list where we get into math humor. One of our favorite bits of humor, believe it or not. This ‘Don’t Drink and Derive’ bumper sticker is a classic, quality and family-friendly bumper sticker.
No Cash He’s Married
This one. Spotted on the road in Texas, really hits home… no pun intended. At least we can hope this funny but possibly true sticker deters the driver from any unwarranted muggings. Of course it’s all in good fun. I’m sure his wife really gets a kick out this funny bumper sticker.
Had A Life
Woof…so much for work/life balance. This happens far too often. We get a nice, high-paying job so that we can support the family, go golfing, go on vacation, and then what happens? Boom. You’re working so much to afford those things that you don’t have the time to actually do them now. What a Catch 22!
Got That Goin’ For Me
It does sound pretty nice, doesn’t it? In the wide realm of bumper stickers – this is one of the rare feel-good stickers out there. Which is nice. Making your own beer sounds both complicated and expensive, but if you can get it to a point where it is no longer a financial liability then you’ve struck gold, my friend.
Well, spell it out why don’t ya!? Some bumper stickers are funny because they’re quirky, some are funny because they’re aimed at a specific group of people, and some are funny because they’re just oh, so honest. This falls under all three categories. Quirky, directed, and honest.
Please Don’t Hit Me
Honestly is the best (insurance) policy, right? If you can’t read it this says, “Please don’t hit me. I’m not 100% sure about my coverage.” This brutally honest, yet totally funny bumper sticker is something I think everyone can relate to on a certain level, right? We’ve all been there.
“Stop looking at the back of my car.” How? That thing is something else. If you’ve never seen a bumperless Lamborghini, here you go. We could look at this all day. And we have. But you know what else?
Funny or concerning? This one can go both ways. A nonchalant warning to their fellow drivers that they’re possibly asleep, funny. The idea that a truck this big is being driven, or piloted by someone in the middle of a comfortable slumber, concerning. At least with tires this big, they’ll roll over most things that would stop a normal vehicle, before they have to wake back up.
Don’t Touch This
We are not sure if this bumper sticker is based on the now-classic BRELAND song “Don’t Touch My Truck,” but one thing is apparent, the owner does not want you near his vehicle. Though honestly, we are unsure if we’d be tall enough to reach the truck even if we wanted to with its enormous tires.
How’s Your Insurance
This is another truck we may want to be cautious around. The bumper sticker is implying the owner may break suddenly, and if we hit him, we’ll have to pay up. Though honestly, it might be difficult to see the taillights at street level with how lowered the vehicle is, so is it really our fault? Anyway, good thing this truck is in the desert and far away from us.
Well there it is! Science in action. One small pine tree branch is absolutely enough to offset the carbon emissions from a standard vehicle right? Isn’t that what we were taught in grade school? This bumper sticker/bumper prop duo is a pretty funny set of things to see on the road.
I Can’t See
Well this feels redundant. The sticker is the reason you can’t see, but the purpose of the sticker is to notify that you can’t see? We don’t see the point here. We do see the hilarity in the situation, however.
Ah, 2020. A year not many people will remember fondly as the world turned into a dystopian state. It seemed every news cycle got wilder and wilder to the point that even dangerous hornets and UFO announcements seemed normalized.
Why Did The Chicken
Well, move to Mars then, pal. Because as long there are humans on Earth, the question of why did the chicken cross the road will ALWAYS exist. And we mean always. What kind of person advocates free will of chickens, anyway? What are you playin at, huh pal? No, we’re joking.
If You Can Read This
“Hey, go faster I want to see what this guy’s bumper sticker says. It looks like it might be funny.” And then the car pulls up behind this guy and all of a sudden, “Oh…nevermind.” Gotcha! If you can read, then you can get got by this funny bumpers sticker. Why?
Honk If I’m Sleeping
Have you ever began to drift to sleep while driving? Wouldn’t it be great if you had some way for other drivers to alert you if you start to move slightly off the road? Well, then we got a perfect bumper sticker for you. This “Honk If I Look Sleepy” design is bold and easy to read.
Don’t Read This
Now this person knows how to make friends. Let’s be real. You’re better off getting along with the other people operating vehicles around you. So here’s a license plate that will help. You know what just screams ‘rebel’ to me? A 2012 Toyota Prius.
Just A Tribute
Okay so we have to admit, this one is pretty clever. It’s not everyday that you get a finish-the-sentence bumper sticker featuring your own brand of vehicle. Whoever came up with this is loaded now, just because of its sheer simplicity. It’s those types of inventions that leave us scratching our head asking, “Why?”
A good semi truck driver looks out for those around them. Here’s a driver that’s doing just that. Looking for a bumper ticker sure to brighten someone’s day, this is it. Placing the right level of value on both women and coffee seems like an obvious task: yes please, to both!
Well it looks like this car might be driven by none other than Captain Obvious. You know, the guy from the popular hotel website that always states the most obvious things? Yep, I bet this car belongs to him.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this sticker probably hails from New Mexico or sparsely populated parts of Arizona. This car has plenty of other stickers, too, by the looks of it. Wonder if any others are alien-based. But he’s right, though.
Wrestle With Demons
Keep your enemies closer, right? I think everyone needs to come across a bumper sticker like this once in their life – just hilarious! Cause let’s be real – our demons aren’t our demons because we have no desire to be near them.
Time For A Fill Up
Did the car put this bumper sticker on or did the driver? Because it seems like something a hungry, underfed car that desperately wants some gasoline would do. FEED ME GASOLINE. Oh, and the higher the rating, the better, please and thank you.
Don’t Mess With Dragons
I’ve never heard that before, but it’s not too hard to believe? Hey…do you think dragons can control the temperature of their flame to the point where they can choose to eat their prey medium rare, medium or well done? That’s a cool thought.
Drive safe! We’ve got a full-grown baby driving a car it seems like. Yes, of course no one wants to harm the baby. But also no one wants to harm the adults either? That’s why we like this creative bumper sticker. Accurate, yet funny.
This is the kind of bumper sticker that can turn a frown upside down. A salt truck with an image of a guy spreading salt, right above where it spreads salt. Love it. It would be pretty hard not to laugh if you saw this driving by.
Although this is funny, it’s simply patently false. It just can’t be true. There’s no way! We know this bumper sticker is false because there clearly are no honor student’s at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Obviously!
One of two assessments can be made about the people that have this bumper sticker. Either they are very eccentric individuals, or they don’t have children. Maybe it’s both, because I have to tell you if you have kids, you don’t like noises.
Prove it wrong. Although the science says there aren’t dinosaurs still roaming the earth, just because I haven’t seen it with my own eyes doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist! Just because I haven’t seen a great white shark with my own two eyes, doesn’t mean it isn’t real.
Do y’all remember this scene? The one in The Lord of the Rings where the Hobbits and the warriors and Gandalf are running away from Smoag, the demon? Well they are running across this skinny rock bridge that is set high above a fiery pit. Gandalf tells the rest of the gang to keep running.
Jesus Uses Turn Signals
Darn right he would have. Jesus was the model citizen, and model citizens use their blinkers. Jesus, would be no exception. However, we’re pretty sure that Jesus probably would not have needed a car to get around. And certainly not a Volvo.
Slide To Unlock
So yes, this is not an iPhone but it is still pretty clever. Other bumper stickers this person might have would probably include words such as “don’t tap on glass”, or “shaken not stirred.” This sticker is nothing more than reaching out to the inner tech geek that lives inside all of us.
Kids Choose Nursing Homes
This is a great point, actually. And spoken from someone who knows first-hand what the deal is. Is this bumper sticker on the back of a car driven by an elderly person who is currently in a nursing home of their choosing?
Marriage Is Cheaper
Woah. That one feels personal. Maybe the most personal out of all of them we’ve seen here today. This person is clearly on the wrong end of a divorce and is looking out for his fellow citizens. Unless you have the money to part ways, don’t spend the money to join in the first place.
Well, the guy kind of has a point, doesn’t he? Siberian huskies are unusually smart…and while honor students are as well, how smart are they? If stranded in the woods, could they survive? A dog could. So who is to say who really is the smarter of the two?
We’ve all been there, right? Coming home from the coffee shop or the office, maybe a bit too much caffeine in our system, and we absolutely have to go. Now. What are you going to do?
Let’s see them aliens. Now, although we have no scientific proof that aliens exist – we also don’t have any scientific proof that aliens don’t exist. So, if we’ve playing in a ‘guilty until proven innocent’ world, then we can not actively say that aliens are real.
If you own a pick up truck, then this statement probably resembles you. It seems like everybody and their cousin’s nephew wants to use you as their own personal moving service. Therefore, this bumper sticker serves as a friendly little reminder that your truck is not for hire.
Wait For It
OK, if you find yourself stuck behind this funny driver. Be careful, the drive is no longer “safe for work” and you’re about to get a revealing surprise. The driver has creatively placed the model’s top on the wiper blade, so if it’s a rainy day, things get pretty interesting.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Which came first, the rust or the funny bumper sticker about ignoring the rust? These are questions as old as time. Hopefully, one day we will be able to figure it out!
Here’s the thing about opinions: everyone has one and they all stink. Just like a rear end. The only thing worse than a non-funny bumper sticker is an opinionated, non-funny bumper sticker. Wait, there’s actually one worse than that.
The Prius changed the game. It was the first wildly popular Hybrid or fully electric vehicle. Like anything that gets out in front of a trend or a new way of life – people began to ostracize it, and make fun of both the car and its drivers.
Remember what we just said about the Prius not being cool. Yeah, that doesn’t hold true for the PT Cruiser. The PT Cruiser was not way out in front of some fad or trend. It wasn’t a cutting-edge technology that divided the populace between gas and electricity.
No Cash On Board
This bumper sticker might not be actually true. If his wife is in the vehicle with him then he is carrying cash, though not on his person. Pulling out cash is like signaling to your family, “Come ask me for money!”
Sense Of Humor
I feel like some of them do. It must be interesting as a cop. You have to be serious and you have to do the lawful thing, but a teenager pulling a good prank is sometimes harmless and hilarious. I bet cops laugh on the inside, and then arrest people because the have to.
If for some reason, you’re stand-in to the left of my car, and can see downwards onto my back window, then you are probably a cop and I am probably getting pulled over right now, aren’t I? A funny bumper sticker is one that can laugh at the driver him or herself.
Stick Figure Family
Well, the person who put up the stick figure family to begin with probably cares. But outside of the stick figure family man, there really isn’t a whole lot of people who do. Which I guess is the intention behind this funny bumper sticker. Is this a custom job?
The response to this bumper sticker might be, “That was it?” Because, let’s be honest here, if you have a van like this there are probably much more than five hippies in there. There are three crowded upfront just for starters.
We’ve all been there, right? Coming home from the coffee shop or the office, maybe a bit too much caffeine in our system, and we absolutely have to go. Now. What are you going to do? Crucial decision.
T-Rex and alligators. What do they have in common? A bunch of long-armed people making fun of them for not having long arms! Which seems crazy because both of those species would eat a human for breakfast if they had to. This one is honestly almost more sad than it is funny.
Okay, so we like this one. It shows how clever the owner is. Most of us would shell out cash to get our vehicle repaired. It would cost us a few thousand dollars. That’s what makes this pure genius. This guy has solved the whole problem, made his car look infinitely cooler and saved thousands of dollars by using a bumper sticker. How clever is that!
This one is clever, but I’m not sure I would want it on my vehicle. It’s cool if you want to stay single for the rest of your life, don’t get me wrong. But if you want a girlfriend or family then you might want to steer clear of this one. It’s a good life choice. It is clever though.
Turn Me Over
This one is what we call ironic. I’m sure when he put this bumper sticker on his Jeep he never envisioned actually being in a position to read it correctly. But, as with all things in life, Murphy’s Law can sometimes come back to bite you in the rear end.
Do you have a runner in your family that loves to put running decals on the back of their vehicle? Well, why not respond with something like this! These are pretty clever and give a nod to the fact that there are other areas of life you can apply long distances too.
Well, guess who is not bitter about their divorce? That’s right, this guy right here. It seems that there is some sort of sordid story going on when this type of decal to show off. Better yet, you have a message to send.
So is this what you do with a cricket or silhouette machine? If you don’t know what those are just go to your local arts and craft store and I will be happy to show you. You can print your own decals and letters and such. Unfortunately, you can print one like this.
You know what’s not a huge financial burden? A really funny bumper sticker that makes everyone on the road laugh – particularly those who have seen the movie, “The Hangover”. Gosh, that is really one of the funniest movies of all time.
Pump it up! Arnold really did have himself a pair of absolute arm cannons, did he not? And once there’s eve a hint of a drop of rain the owner of this 2012 Honda Pilot is going to run the rear windshield wipers immediately!
Officer, your flashing lights are ridiculous and we both know it. Also, why are you so persistent on being RIGHT BEHIND me. Oh, what’s that? I’m getting a ticket? Ohhhh, got it. It was the speeding, wasn’t it? 50 in a 35 will do that to ya! This seems like a custom made bumper sticker.
Try To Keep Up
Perhaps that means this particular driver has had some experience with this exact scenario? We like to think that this lettering is just big enough for, say, an officer to read as he’s walking up the passenger side window. But it’s not quite big enough for anyone else to read. Anyway, funny nonetheless!
We love how many creative, ingenious bumper stickers there are in the world. So if you see one yourself, send it along this way! Thanks for joining us.